What if weight loss rhymed with self-esteem?

When we want to lose weight, the first idea that comes to us is to go on a diet, count calories or remove certain foods from our plate. We have all tried, at the very least, to “pay attention” to our diet to lose that unsightly little bulge. From “Pay attention”, some have gone on to “go on a diet”. Others have gone on a series of diets because, each time, the weight lost was regained (and even more). If you are reading this article, I am sure that you will recognize yourself in these few lines!

The question to ask is why do diets not work? Where does this tendency to overeat, eat poorly, and binge come from? What triggers this need to fill up? Why can’t we have a healthy relationship with food? And why do some people gain weight even though they eat very little? What is the source of these disorders?

Stress is the number one cause of weight gain!

To understand the behaviors that lead us to eat or store, we must first look at our state of stress.

The thing to know is that stress is the number one cause of weight gain and, just like diets, is a state of mind. Facts are neutral. It is our perception of these facts that causes stress.

Let’s take an example: You gained 3 kilos during the Christmas holidays and you have trouble buttoning your pants.

Case #1  : You think: “Look at that! I look like nothing! Why did I eat so much? I know that I feel bad afterwards but I can’t help it, I have to stuff myself! I really have no willpower! But I can’t stay like this, I’m too ugly! Starting tomorrow, I’m going on a diet…”. So you decide to eat “diet”, count calories, cut out bread, chocolate, cheese… in short, everything you like! You lose weight quickly but then you start to binge (on bread, chocolate, cheese…) and you gain 4 kilos back just as quickly.

Case #2  : You think: “Oh, I’ve put on a bit of weight! But I had such a great time at Christmas! It doesn’t matter, in a few days everything will be back to normal.” And you move on. Sure enough, a few days later, you zip up your pants as usual.

In both cases, the facts remain the same (you have gained a little weight) but it is the way you experience the situation that will change everything!

In the first case, your thoughts and reactions awaken a memory of famine that will stress your body and push it to store food. And the more you want to control your diet, the more you will reinforce this memory of famine and store it. A vicious circle also sets in on a psychological level. The fact of not being able to control your weight leads you to self-deprecation and an increasingly high demand on yourself. These states are very anxiety-provoking and you then compensate for your inner discomfort with food. The circle is complete, you find yourself trapped in addictive behaviors from which you can no longer escape. And willpower no longer has its place here: if everything were just a question of willpower, we would all be thin!

In the second case, you observe and wait for your body to return to balance by itself. You trust it and respect it. No self-deprecation, no pressure, no judgment. So no stress or compensation.